Wednesday, 6 November 2013

FRIDAY FICTIONEERS - THE NEW EMPIRE STATE - MY 100 WORDS BY LINDA PALUND



The New Empire State
            After the flood, they built a replica of New York on the plains of Kansas. Everything’s built of stone, except his empire.  It’s built on sand.
            He had his face cast as Mercury, lording it over everyone entering his new offices.  His head above the door; his head on a plate, rather!  What a bloated ego!
            Before the oil ran out, he’d bought up all the bicycles.  There was no competition when his “Mercury Messenger Service” won the contract.
            Too bad that rubber no longer grows on trees.  My team has wings on their feet. We’re winning the next contract.

This Dabble in FLASH FICTION is from FRIDAY FICTIONEERS courtesy of:
and you can comment on mine below:

45 comments:

  1. I loved the way you imagined this story. Fantastic!

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  2. "Too bad that rubber no longer grows on trees..." Love the way you ended this futuristic gem. Well done!

    * I read your posts each week, but have not been able to sign in. I'm going to try Anonymous. Dawn@ Tales From the Motherland

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    1. Sorry, Dawn, I never got the wordpress system together after I started this out in Blogspot - then I moved to Athens, Greece - just to make thinks weirder. Thanks for letting me know who you are. I read your stories, too!

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  3. You did an amazing job of describing the world/situation in this story - amazing because you had 100 words to do that, and tell your story. No mean feat. Bravo!

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    1. Thank you so much for the high praise. It's a challenge we all face each week. Now if we can just keep this world together...

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  4. Hey! Thanks for enjoying my world!

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  5. Watch out, FedEx--UPS has been replaced as your chief competitiion. Fun story.

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    1. Yes! We have to watch out for them now, but they were too dependent on trucks and didn't make it through the big flood and all those hurricanes!

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  6. Evolutionary wings on their feet? I love it!

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    1. I liked the thought of it, and the metaphor, but the reality leaves something to be desired - They'd have to be awfully big wings!

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  7. There's a lot in this for a 100 words. Very well done Linda.

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    1. Thank you, Sandra. High praise from you and I will enjoy it!

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  8. Cool tale, very imaginative and wide-sweeping.

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    1. Thank you Elephant, and with your ears, you wouldn't need wings on your feet!

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  9. I loved that first line - perfect scene setting

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    1. Boy, and I moved that line around quite a bit while I was whittling the story down... Thanks.

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  10. Great imagination and I loved how the so called "Mercurial" Big shot failed to see the flaw in his business plan-pride goes before a fall,for sure:-)And wings on feet-wow!Wish we could get some too;-)

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    1. Yes, I was going to try to fit that in, but no more words left. The wings on their feet was a metaphor that in this future would probably have been webbed feet instead!

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  11. You always have to one up the competition
    Like the way Mercury was used in this winged victory

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    1. Thanks, although I have my doubts about those wings on his feet...

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  12. Hi, Linda! Yes, there's a lot of story here for only 100 words and also for one who is 101 years old. I like the post apocalyptic feel of this piece that reminds me of Road Warrior and/or Book of Eli, etc. Go get that new self-appointed American god (a good role for the late Dennis Hopper)! Great job!

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    1. Yes and thank you, as you were so naught as to use 160! Okay, and we can still use Dennis Hopper - we only need his head! Ah la, Futurama...

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  13. I'm thinking this is the new Trump Tower, right? Who else could be that egotistical? Loved the story, Linda.

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  14. Hi Linda,
    I'm going to compete for that contract with my army of R7 robots, fueled by boredom, because, after all, it is Kansas. (I should know. I spent about a century there in 10 calendar years.) But NYC in Kansas? Those New Yorkers are going to be so conflicted. Ron

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    1. Yeah, you can't even get fizzy water in Kansas! But those R7's will have a time trying to find a real human to relate to...

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  15. Yes, those people driven by greed, with their eye to the main chance no matter what the cost - are they really successful in life, when all is said and done? A great piece of writing.

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    1. Thank you, Freya, probably who they wound up in Kansas in the first place...Greed.

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  16. Dear Lindaura,

    Little Empire State Building on the Prairie? Loved the first line. You set the tone and made me chuckle. Well done.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks, Rochelle. I didn't want to insult Kansas City, cause I know they have lots of hills there. Just wanted someplace safe from the flood...

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  17. Dear Linda,

    I loved the image of a new New York rising from the prairie. Fantastic.

    Alas for the best laid plans of the citizens of the New Jerusalem. One man's downfall is another's triumph. Great work.

    Aloha

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  18. Thanks, Doug. While I have been marooned in Athens, I have started watching Latenight TV, which here is always late, because the lifestyle in late. they show the new Hawaii 5-O here, which I never watched back home in England. So I am getting very jealous of those tropical Islands...
    Just to add, that on my journey across the USA, I was completely surprised by Boise, Idaho, which is quite lovely and rises from the plains in a way I would never have expected.

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  19. There is so much packed into this short bit, and I'm still trying to digest it all: the flood, the moving of New York, the loss of rubber trees. I know I'm missing more. I want to see this story written full length. It's amazing what you've done. By the way ... thanks for the link to Fiction Victim. It looks awesome.

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  20. Thank you. Glad you enjoyed this and glad you could digest so much!

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  21. You packed a lot of story into this.. I have already started stocking up on bicycles...

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    1. Thanks for enjoying this. But wait a minute. Don't stock up on bicycles - you'll be needing webbed feet after the flood!

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  22. Imaginative story. Your narrator is sure showing initiative, Linda.

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    1. Thanks, Karen. Life is always a struggle, but after Global Warming really sets in, everyone will be struggling!

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  23. Quite the entrepreneur but it sounds like he forgot one little detail - new tyres!
    I like the idea of rebuilding New York a bit further away from the sea, in case of more floods.

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    1. Thanks, Alistair, I think it will look quite dramatic there. Kansas City is hardly a metropolis, so New New York will be quite the centre of attraction.

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